Seven Tips on How to Make a Strong First Impression
ByPersonal Development Mastery
How to Make a Strong First Impression: Seven Tips That Really Work – By Bill Lampton
We have all heard this warning: “You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.” Also, psychologists, writers, and seminar leaders caution that we only have from seven to seventeen seconds of interacting with strangers before they form an opinion of us.
With this widely acknowledged pressure to “make our case” instantly, here are my seven tips for making your first impression strongly positive.
1. The greatest way to make a positive first impression is to demonstrate immediately that the other person–not you–is the center of action and conversation. Illustrate that the spotlight is on you only, and you’ll miss opportunities for friendships, jobs, love relationships, networking, and sales. Show that you are other-centered, and first-time acquaintances will be eager to see you again.
Recently I attended a conference. At lunch, my wife and I sat with several people we didn’t know. While most of our tablemates made good impressions, one man emerged as the person we’d be sure to avoid all weekend. He talked about himself, non-stop. Only rarely did anyone else get a chance to speak. Unfortunately, he probably thought he was captivating us with his life story.
I applaud this definition of a bore: “Somebody who talks about himself so much that you don’t get to talk about yourself.”
2. Closely related: You’ll make a superb initial impression when you demonstrate good listening skills. Give positive verbal cues: “Hmmm… interesting!” “Tell me more, please.” “What did you do next?” Just as actors benefit from prompts, your conversational partner will welcome your assistance in keeping the exchange going.
Nonverbally, you show you’re a skilled listener by maintaining steady eye contact. Remember how you respond to the social gadabout who appears to be looking over your shoulder for the next person he wants to corner.
3. Use the name of a new acquaintance frequently. “Judy, I like that suggestion.” “Your vacation must have been exciting, Fred.” You show that you have paid attention from the start, catching the name during the introduction. Equally as important, you’ll make conversations more personal by including the listener’s name several times.
4. Be careful with humor. Although a quip or two might serve as an icebreaker, stay away from sarcastic remarks that could backfire. Because you don’t know a stranger’s sensitivities, prolonged joking might establish barriers you can’t overcome, either now or later.
5. Follow Dr. Wayne Dyer’s advice, offered in his wonderful book “Real Magic,” by “giving up the need to be right.” Confrontations with somebody you’ve just met will destroy rapport before you even start building it. Wait until you have established credibility before you challenge someone else’s statements.
6. Appearance counts. Several years ago, a professional colleague offered to meet me for lunch. I decided against wearing a suit, opting for a sport coat and tie. When he showed up in shorts and sandals, the message he conveyed was: “Bill, meeting you is a rather ordinary experience, and doesn’t call for me to present a business-like appearance.” Not surprisingly, that was the last time I met with him.
True, standards for appropriate attire have changed drastically. Maybe the best advice I can share came from a participant in a seminar I conducted. She said, “I don’t dress for the job I have now, I dress for the job I want to have.”
7. As a communication specialist, I have to point out that an individual’s speaking style impacts the first impression, maybe more than we wish. Listeners judge our intelligence, our cultural level, our education, even our leadership ability by the words we select–and by how we say them.
Think of Professor Henry Higgins of “My Fair Lady,” who changed a “guttersnipe” into a lady by teaching her to speak skillfully. While none of us occupies the lowly level of Eliza Doolittle, we can keep her example in mind. Rather than mumble, speak so you’re easily heard. Enunciate clearly. Alter your pitch, to avoid the dullness of a monotone. Display animation in both voice and facial expression. Gesture naturally, without “canning” your movements.
Keep these seven tips in mind. They will reduce your fear of business and social encounters with unfamiliar faces. More positively, you’ll start enjoying poise and success that you thought were beyond your reach.
About the Author:
Bill Lampton, Ph.D., works with organizations that want to experience CPR – Cooperation… Productivity… Renewal of Mission! Find out how Bill’s programs on communication can help all aspects of your business – sales, customer service, productivity….the bottom line.
For more information call 352-438-0261, or email info@ExpertSpeaker.com. Visit http://www.ExpertMagazine.com and subscribe FREE to EXPERT Magazine Online.
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Loved your article Bill. These are excellent reminders for all of us, especially in the business world. I think the one you choose for the first tip is so important. If people do not feel that they are the center of the conversation, then you are pretty much done! Thanks so much!
This was a very informative article and I hope the read pay special attention to the points about humor. Many a business relationship is lost because of a so called joke. Humor is something that greatly depends on the relationship you have with the person and how well you know them.
Thanks for the reminders what you have mentions in your article are things most people never give attention to, and that includes me. I am not confident with what I do at first so I make it a point to read articles and books about personal development. It is really the first impression which is more important, but sometimes that first impression cannot justify the kind of personality if you get to know the person in a long. It has a possibility to change.
It’s true, 1st we notice somebody by the way they look. Then we talk to them and it’s the personality that keeps us there.
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I love this line, “You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.” That was absolutely true. The list you shared was one great way on how to introduce yourself for the first time. I actually learned something from it. I have realized that the best way to win friendship is to allow the other people speak and say more than you do. It really pays to be humble.
You have given very good tips for making a strong first impression.I think Appearance counts alot.Being good listener and giving proper response while communication is good way to make first impression.
I will have to remember the first name repetition! Right now I just have to tell people I will need to hear their name a few times for it to stick.
Thanks bill thanks for such informative post! But as a communicative specialist I think I can add some more points to it. When it comes to making the first impression, body language as well as appearance speaks much louder than words. Stand tall, smile, make eye contact, greet with a firm handshake. All of this will help us to project confidence and encourage both persons to feel better at ease. Our attitude shows through in everything you do. Project a positive attitude, even in the face of criticism or in the case of nervousness. Our new acquaintance deserves 100% of our attention so the modern manner worth mentioning is “turn off your mobile phone”.
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Thank you very much for your comment! Come back anytime
Great advice on how to make a strong first impression. This would be especially useful for people looking for jobs, which is a large segment of the population right now. Your post would be of great value to anyone in this position, as well as in many other situations.
Thank you Wayne, I am glad you found this article worth sharing. You are welcome to share the wealth with your friends and come back again to read more.
Enjoy your afternoon
Jo
Awesome post. I keep on replacing my Resume, I am just rarely comfortable with it.